An Excerpt from My Journal

Posted on 07 Sep 2025 @ 9:21pm by Crewman Clara Barton

565 words; about a 3 minute read

I’ve finally gotten back to journaling after embarking on what will probably be the most stupendous experience of my life. The words on this page are for my eyes only, and somehow it centers me to get my thoughts down on paper. And yes, I’m still old school, writing in cursive with pen and ink just as I’ve been doing since childhood. Back in my pre-pubescent days, it was a “Dear Diary” sort of thing jotted down in a little pink book with a lock that anyone could pick with a safety pin. By high school, diaries had graduated to more mature journals. I don’t know why it’s so important that I document every experience or every nuance. Nobody will ever read the words because there is no one else in my life who would have the inclination to do so. My parents are both gone now, and I have no siblings or romantic partners. I guess this is all part of my being borderline obsessive/compulsive. But is it so wrong to live your life in a neat, orderly fashion? Maybe I just want to validate who I am.

And right now, that person is part of a team aboard the Arawyn, a Sovereign-class star ship operating as part of the Epsilon fleet. It was indeed an honor to be chosen along with a select few. That came as a shock to me, but it also presents a challenge on a visceral level. Up until this point, my professional as well as my personal life has been rather insular. Being an only child set that in motion 35 years ago. My parents expected excellence from their offspring, so it was nose-to-the-grindstone so I could make them proud. In college, the library was my preferred haven rather than kegger parties in frat houses. When I began to practice nursing, I found a comfortable niche of like-minded individuals with the same purposeful goals. Our shared objective was to treat the sick or the injured, to save lives if possible, and if that failed, to make dying as peaceful as we could for the individual entrusted to our care.

Now I find myself forced out of that comfort zone because the Arawyn is anything but insular. It’s a microcosm of the best minds and talents the Federation has chosen for this mission, and smooth interaction is paramount. These individuals represent every scientific field, and I feel humble interacting with them. To be honest, I’m more than a bit gun-shy. I hope I’m not judged before people get to know me. But I suppose it’s up to me to make some overtures. So far, some faces are becoming familiar, but I’m blanking out on names. Maybe that’s a defense mechanism on my part and I should own it.

Professionally, I have seen some action when one of the ships in our flotilla was rocked by an exploding buoy. I assisted the sick bay’s doctor with a few broken bones and burns, and I think I handled myself effectively during emergency surgery for a subdural bleed. So, I’ve waded into the deep end, and now I must learn how to swim with the other fish. More later if I somehow manage to forge a more social interaction among this intriguing group of people.

Crewman Clara Barton, RN

 

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