What lies beneathe
Posted on 17 May 2026 @ 4:36pm by Lieutenant Ryan Collingway & Lieutenant Kristin Emerson PhD, Counselor
Edited on on 17 May 2026 @ 6:05pm
1,491 words; about a 7 minute read
Mission:
The Starfall Carnival
Location: Dr Emerson's Office
Timeline: Before leaving Starbase 369
----Doctor Emerson's office----
It had been a few days since Ryan had been assigned the temporary position of CEO.
So far the reception back had been positive. The senior petty officers had seen quite a few CEOs across multiple ships over the years, and they were the backbone of engineering. They made it clear he was in a position that had plenty of support. It made a sudden transition easier.
He also heard from Doctor Amberlyn that he was off the mandated therapy on a trial basis. Everything right now seemed to be on a trial basis. But he still appreciated it and made it to his appointment on time.
Emerson’s door opened. Her previous client had exited through the back door, so there was no way to know who it might have been. Everyone had the option of using that door, whether to protect their identity or in the case of them recovering from an emotional session and they didn’t want to leave with red eyes and tissue in hand.
“Ah hello. May I salute your new position, Sir. Congratulations!” she said warmly, with a smart salute. “Come on in."
"Thanks," Ryan said, giving her a brief smile as he sat down. "It's just temporary, I think," he added. "Just until Commander Harlan gets back on his feet."
His tone suggested that he was trying to reassure himself of that fact more than anything else.
“Drink?” she asked. “The usual?” He nodded with a quiet please. “And if Commander Harlan does not come back and they make you more than acting Chief Engineer, how would that change things?” She requested the drinks from the small replicator and sat down, handing one to Ryan.
The same question had dominated his attempts to sleep last night. "It's a lot of responsability. I didn't think they would consider me for this role. At least, not this soon and not after the mistakes I've made," he admitted. Realizing that was a non-answer, he added, "I would do the best I can with the role I've been assigned. I think I will be in a better position to answer this once I've had more time to process it, and when I've had more experience with being CEO.”
“That’s close to the answer I was hoping for. Do not live in the past, Ryan. Your mistakes have gotten you where you are today, so they are not the enemy. It sounds like you are moving toward that. Letting the past be back there, not living in the future either, but staying in the present, and planning for a positive future.” Kris took a sip of her drink. “So, with that in mind, do you still want to work a little on your issues with your father? Maybe with this development, that would be too complicated and stressful to undertake with this new direction in your career. What do you think? Maybe issues of personnel relationships and such would be more in order. Or something else?”
"No," Ryan said, quietly but firmly. "If I'm to do this job effectively, I have to face all the unresolved issues I have. I can't just bury them and wait for them to materialize at a more critical time."
He sighed a little. He wasn't exactly thrilled at talking about this. He probably never would be, no matter what the situation. "What do you want to know, exactly?”
“I want to hear what you know, or think you know, about that relationship. What drives it? What degree of influence over it do you think you have? Anything other information or questions that might bring up in your head,” Kris replied.
Ryan thought about it, and shrugged a little. "There isn't much of a relationship. I was raised primarily by tutors, not by him. His eyes would always be watching me, but he didn't really interact with me until I was in my teens. Then he took me on multiple excursions to different planets to see how the family business was run. It wasn't exactly a secret that he was into criminal activity, mostly in smuggling. Nausicaans, Orions, the black market-he had a hand in everything. Of course, he was rich enough to have a team of lawyers to deny any wrongdoing." It was hard to figure out his tone of voice when he said that. Admiration? Hopelessness? Both? He didn't dwell on it and moved on.
"One day....I'm not sure, I just snapped. I packed my bags and ran to the only Starfleet recruitment office on the planet, practically in the middle of the night. I couldn't be what he was. He hates Starfleet with a passion and didn't take the news well. He's been trying to convince me to leave Starfleet. But I don't want any part of his inheritance," Ryan said.
He frowned a little. "Commander Batenburg and I were working on meditation a few days ago. Part of it involves word associations. I had one of my dad, but it didn't make any sense to me. 'Beneathe'. She said it might make more sense to me later. It has not.”
“Beneathe. Have you looked up the textbook definition of that word? Written down the other connotations you may have with that word?” she asked.
Ryan leaned back a little. "I've rolled it over in my mind a little bit. I'm beneathe him? He's beneathe me? That might make sense, but it doesn't feel right. A literal underground, maybe? It's nipping at me. Like, I should know it. But I don't."
He shrugged a little, not getting any closer with it.
“Ok, let’s look it up.” She reached for the PaDD on the corner of her desk and typed in ‘definition of beneathe’. “It’s a preposition or an adverb, and the primary definition is of it is: extending or directly underneath, typically with close contact and underneath so as to be hidden, covered or protected. The second option is at a lower level or layer than: lower in rank or grade, status or worth, behind a physical surface, behind or hidden behind. Does that open up anything or set off any bells and whistles?”
They all didn't feel exactly right until Kris mentioned the very last one. "Hidden, perhaps," he admitted, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
"Maybe I'm forgetting something," he continued. "I've been trying to remember the exact reason why I left. I thought it was just a culmination of everything I saw. But maybe it was a specific event and my mind just..blanked on it, whatever it was.”
“Good insight. Maybe it has been intentionally hidden from you, making it hard for you to grasp now, when you can feel it nipping at you, but it’s just not quite remembered. There are medical ways to bring out hidden memories, but it is a very serious decision. I don’t recommend it until efforts for the natural remembrance of the memories are exhausted. A simple act of hypnotic relaxation sometimes will reveal something, maybe not all at once, depending upon the trauma involved in that memory, but it is a start. I think that may be where you have been going with Cmdr Batenburg.”
"Yes. I think it's a good idea to talk to her about it," Ryan agreed. "Though trying to figure out what I'm sure would be pleasant memories might be stressful on my first week as well." He paused. "I'll give it a bit of time, then talk to her about it," he decided.
“I respect your wisdom and understanding of yourself. You have now essentially given your unconscious mind permission to remember something challenging. Be aware that it could possibly bring those memories, as a whole or a little at a time up at its convenience, not yours. So if something comes up that you feel is out of left field, to use an old baseball term, just thank your unconscious mind and carry on. Hold the memory gently until you can process it. As soon as is reasonable, call me, or even Cmdr Batenburg if I’m unavailable for some reason, and let me know. I’ll make time for you. Try not to go down a rabbit hole with something. Take what you get at face value and remember to breathe. Okay?” Kris explained. “Questions?"
Ryan shook his head, but he was a little worried. Whatever he saw-hypothetically-was enough for him to leave immediately, in the middle of the night, and run right to Starfleet. He already knew about the criminal dealings, to an extent. So whatever it was...must have been significant. He didn't voice this to Kris and sighed instead. "I'll try not to worry about it in the meantime. I know I have a lot of support here."
"Indeed you do."
~~~
LT Ryan Collingway
Chief Engineering Officer (acting)
USS Arawyn
&
LT Kris Emerson, PhD
Counselor
USS Arawyn
RSS Feed