Ghost Figures and the Shape of Anger

Posted on 02 Oct 2025 @ 10:14pm by Lieutenant JG Halux-denari-vettaliin & Ensign Ryan Collingway

1,771 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Fractured Accord
Location: Counselor's Office, USS Arawyn

=/\= Counseling Center =/\=

The next day was a day Ryan had been dreading. His 'Starfleet mandated counseling' appointment, the one requirement for returning back to duty. His previous counselor had been easy to deal with. Now it was someone new, which made him very uncomfortable. He was escorted inside the office by a yeoman.

Counselor Halux rose from behind his desk as the doors parted, the warm glow of the room's holo-scene simulated starfield washing across the ceiling of the counselor’s office. Wisps of light drifted slowly, like threads of cosmic silk suspended in the void, lending the space an air of calm mystery. He stepped forward with a relaxed smile, hands loosely clasped in front of him.

“Ensign Collingway,” Halux greeted warmly, his voice carrying what he hoped was an inviting steadiness. “I’m glad you could make it today. Please—come in. Make yourself comfortable wherever feels best to you.”

He gestured not just toward the standard chair across from his desk, but also to a softer pair of seats near the viewport where the projected nebula swirled gently.

“As you can see, I prefer a bit of starlight over bare walls,” Halux added, tone light and open. “It's nice to be reminded how vast the galaxy is, and how small one moment of time can be. However, if there's another setting you would prefer, please feel free to speak up. I'm also quite partial to the Partaxian forests of Denobula."

Ryan took a look at the admittedly breathtaking sight before looking quickly away. "This is fine, thank you." He took the standard chair near the desk and sat down. It would be the same song and dance as before, just with more pretty visuals. Tell the counselor what he wanted to hear, say he was working on himself, yadda yadda. Rinse and repeat.

Halux gave Ryan a reassuring nod as the ensign settled into the chair. He remained standing for a moment longer, as if to emphasize that this was not an interrogation, then sat with an easy smile.

“Before we begin, Ensign, I want to go over something important. Everything you share with me here is confidential. That means it stays between us. I take this very seriously.” His tone was calm, even, almost conversational. “The only times I'll be required to break that confidentiality are if I believe you might be at risk of harming yourself, or someone else. In those cases, I have a responsibility to act. Otherwise, what you say here is yours alone.”

He paused to let the weight of that reassurance settle, then leaned forward just slightly.

“I'd also like to address the ‘mandated’ part of this session. I understand it can feel strange, maybe even unfair, to be told you have to talk to a counselor. Some officers find it unnecessary, or even intrusive. Some might even feel inclined to give me a performance, thinking it will speed the process along...” His eyes softened, still carrying that steady warmth. “But my role isn’t to check a box or file a negative report. I’m here to understand you as a person, not just an officer in Engineering. This time is yours. You can use it to talk about duty, frustration, or even how little you want to be here.”

He offered a small, knowing smile.

“Does that sound fair enough as a starting point?”

Ryan's face could have been similar to a Vulcan's as he considered what the counselor had said. The best way to get through this, he had found, was to offer some insights of truth from him. "Yes. I understand what you're saying, counselor. It's very fair." He looked away. "I have found it difficult to be here for the past few days. I didn't have much time to settle in before being part of a dangerous mission, one which involved being whisked away on another spaceship. Our entire team was attacked by nanobots. We could have been killed. Fortunately, they seemed more keen on munching on power sources rather than us."

Halux’s expression softened as he listened, nodding slowly.

“Thank you for sharing that, Ensign. I can hear the weight in your words.” He leaned back slightly, giving Ryan space, but his eyes stayed attentive. “It’s no small thing to be thrown into duty before you’ve even had a chance to plant your feet. And then to be pulled into something so dangerous, so quickly? That’s a lot for anyone to absorb.”

Halux paused for a moment, tilted his head slightly, letting the silence feel safe rather than heavy. “I’m curious—when you think back on that mission, what stands out most for you? The fear of what could have happened, the relief of having survived, or perhaps something else entirely?”

A small sigh left Ryan, but his eyes narrowed in thought. He answered this one carefully. "We were working on the nacelles for five hours. The nanobots were crawling on us during that entire time, but only reacted when the nacelle powered up. One of my fellow engineers...the nanobots had crawled into his ear. The screams were horrific. Later we found out the nanobots were placed there deliberately as a distraction. A way to slow our mission down. I guess I feel anger towards the people who did this."

Halux noticed Ryan’s narrowed eyes, the careful edge to his words, and spoke gently.

“As you talk about this, I can see the way your face tightens and hear the weight in your voice. Right now, in this moment, what do you notice in yourself as you recall that anger?”

The Denobulan allowed a pause, letting Ryan tune into the immediate sensations. His town was calm and supportive.

“Is it a pressure in your chest? A tension in your jaw or shoulders? I’d like you to bring your awareness to where that anger is living in you right now. You don’t have to judge it, justify it, or explain it away. Just notice it. Stay with it here in this room for a moment. Sometimes, what we experience in the present tells us more than the story itself.”

That caused Ryan to frown. "I'm not sure. Stomach, I guess?" he didn't quite see where this was going. It was, in his mind, a completely justifiable response to someone wanting to kill them, or at the very least sabotage their mission.

“The stomach,” Halux repeated softly. He nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful but never dismissive. “That’s important. On my world, we call sensations like this Veytra’sha—ghost figures. They are the outlines our experiences leave behind, carried not just in memory but in the body itself.”

He leaned forward slightly, voice calm and steady. “You’re absolutely right that anger here is justifiable. Anyone in your position would feel it. But the ghost figure of that anger...it’s still with you now, making itself known in your stomach. That tells me it’s asking for attention. It needs tending to.”

Halux gave Ryan space, his tone gently curious.

“What is it like, sitting here with me, to notice that anger as a knot in your stomach? Does it feel heavy, tight, or burning? Give me a word that best fits what that ghost figure feels like in you, right now.”

"Tight, I suppose. I'm sure it'll go away once my nerves have settled, and we complete this mission." Ryan was definitely not comfortable with this, despite the counselor's calm demeanor. Ultimately he was very analytically minded. Just like the conversation with Commander Amberlyn made him dismissive of a 'Cosmic balance', the idea of a 'ghost figure' inside of him made him wary.

Halux inclined his head, a small smile flickering at the corner of his mouth. He could sense the Ensign's skepticism in the carefully crafted response.

“Tight in the stomach,” the counselor echoed gently. “That’s good awareness, Ensign. Thank you for sharing it with me.”

He let a calm silence linger for a moment, showing no judgment, only presence. Sometimes silence was its own tool for counseling. After a few seconds passed, he continued, moving to gently acknowledge the previous trauma the young man had been through. “It sounds like you’re carrying more than just nerves right now. And that makes sense, given everything you’ve been through.”

And there it was. Ryan knew they would circle to it eventually."I was able to keep my head and find a solution to the nanobots during the away mission. Given from where I started from before, I'd say that's a vast improvement," he said, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible.

“That is a vast improvement, Ensign. You kept your head in the middle of a crisis and even found a solution—that speaks volumes about your resilience and your skill.” Hallux tilted his head slightly, watching Ryan’s neutral demeanor without pressing against it. “I’m curious...when you think about that improvement, how does it feel to you?”

Ryan frowned slightly at the question. "It had to be done, because-" he paused, seemingly catching himself mid-sentence. "-any other alternative would not have been acceptable. To me," he finished.

Halux inclined his head slowly, his tone calm and affirming.

“I hear you. For you, there wasn’t really a choice—it had to be done.” He let the words settle, then added with quiet respect, “That tells me something important about your standards, Ensign. When you’re ready, and it doesn't have to be today, but I’d like to hear more about that. About what makes a choice ‘acceptable’ or 'unacceptable' in your eyes.”

"Okay," Ryan said, though truthfully it was a discussion he wanted to get away from. He could see that his scheduled appointment time was over. It had run overtime, actually. "Thank you, Counselor."

“You’re welcome, Ensign," Halux gave a small nod, his smile as steady as it had been at the beginning. "I appreciate your time and your honesty today. I know these conversations aren’t always comfortable, but you’ve handled it well. Let’s pause here. We’ll have more chances to continue, and I’ll look forward to them. Until then—take care of yourself. And I'm always available if something comes up and you'd like an ear to hear you.”

He rose from his chair, not in a rush but with quiet ease, inclining his head respectfully, allowing Ryan to leave without further pressure.

=/\= End Log =/\=

Lieutenant (JG) Halux
Head Counselor
USS Arawyn

Ensign Ryan Collingway
Engineering Officer
USS Arawyn

 

RSS Feed