"Once Again Myself"

Posted on 04 Nov 2025 @ 7:32pm by Ensign Ryan Collingway & Ensign Lucas Scott

1,039 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: After Tarvik
Location: Observation Lounge, USS Arawyn
Timeline: (Backlog) Still in orbit of Tarvik III

=*= Observation Lounge, USS Arawyn =*=

Luke turned his head from the notes in front of him to the view, Tarvik III turned below serenly as if to serve as a reminder that beautiful things could come out of chaos. With hours of returning gear and equipment to Security storage completed, including the mandatory inventory and inspection, he'd finally finished for the day. Getting back into a routine had proven restorative and Luke had enjoyed keeping the momentum going. His career wasn't yet months old but was back on the trajectory he had envisioned in the Academy. Progress led to motivation for him to keep the ball rolling and after a long day making sure the Department was squared away and ready to depart the system he was on his own time finally. After dropping a few things at quarters he'd gathered up everything he had on the Arawyn's tactical systems. After the recent training drill he'd had on Gamma shift that was the one thing that stood out to him, there was a definite need to understand the tactical interface of his new home better.

The lounge was largely empty at the current hour but that was fine with Luke, he was used to running on short sleep. It also didn't help that he was fascinated with the Arawyn's torpedo systems, They were the gut punch that could stop an enemy ship cold and were such a situation to ever come up on him Luke wanted to be ready. He looked up for a moment hearing the lounge doors to see a few more officers also entering the lounge, including one he recognized. "Oh hey.... just getting off shift?"

"Yep," Ryan said. "Let's just say having a department head confined to sickbay is not fun for the rest of us. Hopefully Commander Boren recovers quickly." He glanced out the window. Junior officers tend not to get quarters with a view, so he always came up here when he wanted to clear his head. "Yourself?" he asked.

Luke shook his head. "Sorry to hear that." He hadn't heard any scuttlebutt about injured senior officers but he'd never been one to pay much attention to rumor. "Actually doing pretty well, we're getting in to more rotations at Tactical next week so you know.... get a head start before the Marathon." he said with a gesture to the notes. "Glad to take a break though." Setting down what he'd been reading Scott reached for his coffee, mildly surprised to find it still warm enough to be considered drinkable, and took a sip before continuing. "Oh.... I also wanted to thank you. That little chat we had the other day, well, definitely gave me some food for thought. Get back on target, if that makes any sense."

"You're welcome," Ryan said, sitting down to join him. "Though truth be told if it was what happened on the Newton, there wasn't anything security could do. You can't exactly shoot the nanobots," he said. "And Tarvik III was just bad timing. That being said, I'm starting to think we should bring a tank to routine away missions if this keeps happening," he joked.

Luke laughed. "I think that's part of it, really." He sipped his coffee and nodded. "There wasn't a clear reaction, like you said there was no target I could deal with and I was desperate to find one." It had been one of the few moments in his life where he had felt truly useless, an uncomfortable sensation to say the least. "I was with one of the teams looking for them but all I could do was stand nearby and wait for something to react to." He shook his head, laughing a bit at the idea that heavy artillery was the solution. "It might have helped, but I don't think the Newton's crew would have appreciated it."

Ryan chuckled along with that though. "There will be a better mission for security to be involved, I'm sure."

It felt nice to have another Ensign that was going through the same situations, albeit from a vastly different perspective, that he could talk to. He'd spent his Academy time nose-deep in every manual and field guide he could find. Knowledge was power but as he'd recently learned wasn't always the solution. "Thank god for you guys", he said meaning the engineers, "That whole situation could have ended far worse." It was a strong reminder that this was not solely his path to travel, there would be others and they'd need him at his best to protect them. "Ever just get trapped in your own head? Hell of a place to be stuck."

"Yes..." Ryan admitted. "After my first assignment, something bad happened. I was in a catanoic state for a few days. Like you said, it was a hell of a place to be trapped in. Eventually I snapped out of it."

There were a great deal of lies he had said about the past year. But that one was true. It was a subject that he didn't feel comfortable talking about usually. But with Scott, it seemed a bit easier for some reason.

Luke didn't pry, if the Ryan wanted to go into details he would have. He sipped his coffee and nodded. "Well if anything, we both made it this far and didn't do that to stop now." The thought brought a light smile to his features, there had been countless times in the Academy that he had been unsure he'd ever even graduate. "At the least, we both know how it feels. And we both know we don't want to go back to that feeling again." Scott shook his head, determined in his heart to not let himself return to the self-loathing. Doing so would inevitably get someone hurt. "So what do they have you guys doing tomorrow? Drills like us?" he asked, meaning Security's readiness training which was scheduled for a very early hour.

Ryan relaxed as Scott didn't press things. "Yep. Feels like it's nonstop at this point." The two of them continued to chat, gripping about things in their department as only Ensigns could in private.

Ensign Ryan Collingway
Engineering Officer
USS Arawyn

Ens Lucas Scott
ASec
USS Arawyn

 

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