A tense confrontation

Posted on 21 Dec 2025 @ 5:05pm by Ensign Ryan Collingway & Lieutenant Commander Riah Amberlyn XMD
Edited on on 21 Dec 2025 @ 5:06pm

2,188 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: The Displaced

///Engineering////

Ryan spent the next hour or two working on the shields. So far they had been notified that the creature had entered the rift, but it was still open. For the next hour, no further updates since then. The tension, while not going away entirely, eased up. Ryan yawned. He couldn't help it. He was seriously starting to crash now. Maybe some coffee would help.

"Take a break, Ryan," Lelina said warmly. "You've been up for most of the day and just came back from a dangerous mission. Let's have you off-duty for now. We've got this handled."

"I guess you're right. Let me know if anything changes, though, okay? I'll come right back," Ryan said.

///Quarters////

Ryan managed to crawl in his bed and rest for five minutes. Suddenly an alarm rang, reminding him that he had be somewhere. Surprised, he glanced at the reminder, and realized he had forgotten something. "Oh no."

///Counselor's office///

A short time later he entered Doctor Emerson's office, still dressed in casual clothes. Ryan was starting to get used to these sessions. He still didn't like them, and probably never would, but he was getting used to them. "Hello, Counselor.”

“Hey there, Ryan,” said Kris. “Drink?” He nodded. “Water or Cola? I’m having Cola. It’s my birthday.”

"Oh, happy birthday," Ryan said. "Cola sounds nice."

As soon as he entered the room, something was different. A tension he couldn't quite explain. He sat down in the chair. "The mission went pretty well. We were able to help the Eirians." He didn't really want to discuss the mysterious creature that chased after them. Not when he didn't understand it himself.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. I hope those people eventually end up back in their home sector. It would have been nice to have them as neighbors. They seemed agreeable to cooperative association with other species. But I realize that rift is their way home and the only hope of not being stranded here. How do you feel about our encounter with them? You were up close and personal with the aliens and their ship."

"They seemed really nice. Patient with us being there to fix their ship. I liked them," Ryan admitted.

They settled into a comfortable silence.

I spoke to my dad earlier," he said, feeling compelled to say something, anything. "It didn't go so well. But I tried anyway."

It felt weird he was saying this. Like an assignment he failed, but he was trying to justify to a professor why he failed. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't matter to him.

And yet, somehow, it really did.

“And you are not responsible for how your father behaves. That’s his shit. How’d it go compared to how you expected it to go, and how you hoped it would go, ideally?” asked Kris, handing him the drink.

"I had hoped he would at least be excited by the idea of an alien vessel. He said that he wanted the Borg to pay me another visit to teach me that I shouldn't be in Starfleet. More or less," Ryan said, not even trying to sugarcoat it.

“That’s pretty hostile for anyone to say to someone else. A father to his son? Hard to believe. This may sound hokey, but how’s that make you feel, as the son on the receiving end?”

"It's pretty typical," Ryan admitted. "He owns a fleet of supply ships and views Starfleet as his direct competition, at worst. Needless beurocratic at best. Everything with him is transactional. Even his relationships. I wanted something, I had to give him something. Joining Starfleet hit him pretty hard, from what I gather."

“You seem to care a lot about how he feels. But he’d be just happy for you to be assimilated. That’s pretty damned hateful. Why care about him at all?” asked Kris.

Who else is there? Ryan wanted to ask, but he didn't. Instead he shrugged his shoulders a little. "He's family," he stated simply. But there was a slight look of defeatism in his posture.

Kris could read the body language as if it were words in his head. “That’s a lot of loyalty offered to someone who appears to care so little about you as family.”

"I'm sure he does care, in his own way." Ryan sighed a little. "Mind if we get off this topic? Like I said, sore subject."

“I know. But sometimes sore spots are sore because you’ve not cleaned them out. But yes, let’s move on. There’s been a development with the Benzites.” She saw him tense up, and waved him down. “Not bad shit. They have closed their investigation or whatever it was. But they discovered a hypothetical scenario I think you may find interesting. Are you willing to listen to that?”

"Engineers prefer to deal with facts rather than hypothetical scenarios. It's why we don't try to go for warp ten every other week," he said, but sighed. "Go on."

“Well, this scenario was close enough to facts that they withdrew their inquiry completely. It concerns the bruising on your neck after the events on the Thysia. They were made by Benzite hands. Their thumbs are unique. Counselor Barda suggests you shot Lt Mendon in self-defense. That is not a crime in their books.”

Kris watched his expressions change as he listened.

Ryan's eyes did change. They were starting to spark. An angry storm that hadn't materialized. Not yet. But the clouds were gathering.

"They also assume that Lt Mendon was being assimilated and he knew that even if he survived, an unassimilated Benzite could have caused a massive upheaval in Benzite society because of the rules surrounding their genetic modifications. So he forced you to defend yourself. He gave you one option."

This was bad. Career-ending bad. Benezite-having-a-civil-war bad. But he kept those thoughts to himself as the coldness remained. This to him was survival. Plain and simple.

"I had *many* options that day. I ended up shooting my commanding officer because I mistook him for a target. As per my report." He looked at his drink. "What are you not telling me?" he asked directly. "If such a scenario existed, then the Benzites would not be satisfied with ending the inquiry. They would drag me off the ship and question me for years in more detail. That's how they work.”

“No Ryan. Only Counselor Barda knows about the development. He suspected you would be living with your lie for the rest of your life. He told only Doctor Amberlyn and myself. The four of us are the only ones that know. Why do you think that’s how they work? What does that mean?” asked Kris.

Ryan was trying to keep his walls intact. Although they had been considerably battered over his time on the Arawyn, he still tried. Inadvertently he had spoken one of his worst fears. "I have worked with Benzites, counselor. You haven't. They are meticulous. That's all I meant." He looked away still trying to process this. He didn't know Counselor Barda. He had no reason to trust him. Trust anyone, really. His family disowned him. His best friend had tried to kill him. And just when he thought he could start again...here he was again. He took a deep breath, his fists gripping the chair tightly. "I have nothing further to add to my record. The rest is pure speculation, rumor. And I don't think this counselling session is working either," he stated angrily. "I will ask Lieutenant Vettalin to pause the therapy until he has completed his assignment. This isn't helping.”

“Ryan, listen to me. Now! Just breathe.” Kris said firmly, but with kindness. It took him a few tries, but he finally took a whole smooth breath, in and out. Then Kris continued. “You’re not thinking clearly. You’re angry. At what? This completely exonerates you. You’ve been feeling out of control, juggling a lie for months, afraid the truth would sneak out. Guarding every conversation, every thought, I would guess. Driving yourself crazy. This information puts you back in control, Ryan. Control over your life, over how you respond to your family, how you look at your career. YOU know the truth. A few select people know the truth, all of whom want to HELP you. Regardless of your blanket assessment of Benzites being meticulous, in this case meticulous has set you free. What you do with that truth is up to you. You finally have control of this situation. You never have to tell a soul. But now the choice is yours. You can choose. It’s your life again. You and I, or you and Vettalin, can work through this, one day at a time, putting your life back together, your choices, your decisions. Take another breath. Deep and slow.”

Ryan wanted to believe that, but was still pretty shaken. He had no idea who Counselor Barda was, or if the Benzite people already knew what had happened. But there was no way to hide it. Not anymore. His hands were trembling a little, and he willed himself to calm down. "I lied to a lot of people." He was silent for a moment. "Are you...or rather, Doctor Amberlyn going to tell the Captain?" he finally asked.

“No. We’ve discussed that and it is inside your personal medical file. We could be forced by the court to reveal it, but since there no one else who knows, and there is no court case involved, that’s a non-issue. Just the four of us, you, me, Amberlyn, and Barda know about this. Barda was very clear about it ending here, with you. If you choose, at some point in the future to tell the Captain, that’s your choice. You have the power now.”

Ryan didn't feel empowered. Not yet, anyway. What he did feel was drained. Maybe it would help that more people knew. But many more people didn't, and there was still that threat of it somehow going back to Benzar if he did tell. In the end, not a great deal had changed. At least, he didn't think so. It was hard to think clearly after the emotional outburst he had. He sighed. "So how do you suggest we proceed, counsellor?”

“I think you keep this to yourself and don’t make any decisions about telling anyone for several months, maybe longer. You work on it in therapy, come to grips with your own feelings about it, either with me or with Counselor Vettalin. It may seem like nothing has really changed if you don’t tell anyone, but A LOT has changed - it’s all inside you. You can admit the truth to yourself. If it comes up in conversation with friends or anyone else, remember you are not obligated to tell anyone anything. You are sovereign here. Your private life is your own now. Nothing has to change on the outside. You work on the inside. You’re very angry, and you need to figure out a healthy way to express and resolve that anger so it doesn’t come out and bite your ass when you least expect it. You may feel lonely. There’s a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. You’re not alone anymore. You have a support team who deeply care about you, your health and wellbeing. Accepting that and making use of that team is your choice now.”

Don't tell anyone.
Work on yourself.
Expect to be lonely while you carry on lying.

That was what he heard. Essentially no different from where he started from. Ryan needed time to process what was happening. But he did hear the last part as well and felt a small amount of appreciation as well. The counselor and Doctor Amberlyn could have immediately reported this, after all. What was it that Halux had said in their first meeting? He was obligated to report things if others could be harmed? But that hadn't happened. "I have an appointment with Commander Batenburg to deal with the emotional aspect of things. We have some things in common, after all. When this mission is finished, of course." He sighed again. "Thank you, counselor, for letting me decide what to do with this, rather than report it to Starfleet.”

“It’s your life, Ryan. Not mine, or your father's, or Lt Menden’s. And how do you know I haven’t worked with Benzites before?” she shrugged and offered a quick wink. “Commander Batenburg is a good officer. Her experience blending her human and Vulcan heritage may indeed serve your questions well. I’ll see you next time.”

Ryan nodded, and stood. He was mentally exhausted and completely overwhelmed with what had just happened.

And yet, sleep would be the last thing he would experience for a while.

Ensign Ryan Collingway
Engineering Officer
USS Arawyn

Counselor Kris Emerson
USS Arawyn

 

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